Writing is my Life

Come and Share my Love of Writing with me!

Tuesday at Ten { If I could write a letter to the past me . . . . }

Tuesday at Ten { If I could write a letter to the past me . . . . }
New Tuesday at Ten logo - 5-21-15

Welcome to Tuesday at Ten! The Tuesday blog Link up where you have 6 full days to use the “prompt phrase” as a part of your writing.

Each week I post a prompt phrase and you finish the phrase and write how that phrase fits you and your life or your thoughts.

Whether it be just writing a story behind the phrase or being as creative as you wish using photos, poems, art, or graphics – whichever creative way you choose.

You have 6 days to write and link up your blog at the bottom of the page so that others can link up with you.

Be sure to visit your “link up” neighbor and spread the joy of connection! A new Prompt word is posted every Tuesday Morning at 10am, the link up closes at 11pm the night before.

Every Monday evening (the day before the new word is posted) I will choose ONE highlighted writer of the week to be highlighted and shared on the Tuesday at Ten Facebook page for all to see. You will also get an award graphic for that week to post on your blog.

Make sure to visit the Tuesday at Ten Facebook page to view the winner and for daily news!

Remember  – it’s not about being perfect, it’s about being YOU. Have FUN!

Today’s Prompt PHRASE is { if I could write a letter to the past me  . . . . .  }


If I could write a letter to the past me I would say:

Dear Terri (that was my nickname until I started writing and changed it to Tessa)

I know you are confused and scared. You don’t know what is going on. I am your future self and I am here to help you.

You don’t know why months go by and you can’t sleep. You are tired of mom and dad yelling at you to go to bed and GO TO SLEEP! I know you can’t. They don’t understand you. You are growing up in a time where mental illnesses is not talked about so they don’t know what to do about you or how to treat you or that they should have pursued help from a psychiatrist. Especially since after the manic phase passed you would drop into depression. 

You didn’t leave the house unless you were pushed out the front door and made to. That should have been another hint that something was wrong.

Even the fact that one of mom’s relatives committed suicide didn’t make them aware that something was wrong with us. That there was mental illness in our immediate family as well, didn’t make them any the wiser.

When we were just a little kid, a baby, we had to take tranquilizers so we could eat and keep our food down. Our aversion to milk and yogurt is a mental aversion, not physical. 

The older we got the more our anxiety rose and we were afraid to the point of panic attacks. Our parents didn’t understand still. We were so terrified to take our driver’s license test that Dad had to force us. I am glad we got it though, let me tell you that. Maybe it will help you.

We were afraid of crowds of unknown people, we were afraid of the kids at school because we were bullied. They were mean and made fun of our clothes. We didn’t have much money and Mom either made them or bought them at thrift shops. There wasn’t a chance to be like everyone else. So they laughed at us and talked about us. 

The only time we were important to them was if we allowed them to copy our work. We were intelligent and they knew it. They pestered us to let them copy our work for a mock friendship. As soon as we said no, they all went away and back to their old ways. 

We were very intelligent. We passed all those school tests with flying colors. We got straight A’s without studying. We COULD have been Valedictorian if we weren’t so terrified of having to give a speech in front of the whole school. We gave that up for those school bullies. We should have gone for it and shown them we could do it. We should have been proud of who we were. Who needs the “cool” kids anyway. If we had the chance we would do things differently.

Take the chance and make us proud. Show them who was the smartest kid in the class. Don’t hide your intelligence. Let it shine proudly. 

Continue your writing. Don’t let any rejection stop you. When you grow up you will beat these mental illnesses and become a well-read blogger who also writes stories and poems. You will be great some day. Just take the chance.

Love, 

Me (Your future self Tessa)

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Blogging 101 – Day 2

Day Two: Take Control of Your Title and Tagline

You set your blog’s address when you registered at WordPress.com, but your blog’s title — what readers see on your site when they visit — can be changed at any time. Today, let’s make sure you love yours.

Today’s assignment: edit your title and tagline.

Why?

  • The title is the first thing most readers will see.
  • Your title and tagline work with elements like your address and theme to give visitors context and help them decide to stick around.

Your title doesn’t need to be the same as your blog’s URL — just because your address is maryjanesmith922.wordpress.com doesn’t mean you need to call your blog maryjanesmith922. Your title should reflect you.

A title is typically only a few words, so consider adding a tagline — a phrase that appears under your title and helps flesh it out. Think “Burger King: Have It Your Way,” or The Daily Post: The Art and Craft of Blogging.” Look at the post you wrote yesterday. Why are you here? What will we find on your blog? Let us know in your tagline.

My new title and tagline:


 

writing is my life

Come and Share my Love of Writing with me!


 

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August Blues by the Daily Post promp

August Blues

As a kid, were you happy or anxious about going back to school? What was the thing you feared or looked forward to the most?


Although I always looked forward to the first few days because by then I was bored. My biggest fear was the kids in my classes. I was always bullied and only paid attention to if I let them copy my homework and they sort of bullied me for that as well. I really hated school for the personal dealings. I loved learning and was a straight A student.


Tessa

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Blogging 101 – Day 1

Day One: Introduce Yourself to the World

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click “New Post,” and tell us why you’re here.

Today’s assignment: write and publish a “who I am and why I’m here” post on your blog.


Tessa was born in the mid 50’s. Tessa’s real name is Teresa E. Smeigh (Dean). Tessa is the eldest of 3 children. She has a younger brother and sister, plus 3 children and 4 grandchildren.

Why did I start this blog. To write! That was always my goal in life was to write stories and poems and maybe even a book, who knows?

This is the first blog and I now have a second blog that contains stories and poems that are posted here, but also is dedicated to being an advocate for invisible illnesses. We need someone to stand up for us and remove the stigma that so affects our lives. I post a lot of non-fiction stories about my life. It hasn’t been an easy one, but we still have a lot to be thankful for.

If you would like to take a look at my other blog the address is http://www.tessacandoit.wordpress.com.


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Literate for a Day – prompt by The Daily Post

Literate for a Day

Someone or something you can’t communicate with through writing (a baby, a pet, an object) can understand every single word you write today, for one day only. What do you tell them?


My dearest Sara,

I know that you are a cat and that cats are finicky animals, but you take finicky to extremes. You have lived here for about four years and you still won’t let me pick you up. I wanted a kitty that was a snuggle-bunny. Not you, heaven forbid I try to pick you up. Snuggling is only when you want something and you climb on top of me to demand food.

I also wanted a friendly cat. I got a scaredy cat. You won’t go to anyone except me. You have finally accepted my son and my friend. My poor dad you still ignore and hiss at. That is not nice! I understand the dog thing. He doesn’t like you either. You two will never be friends.

Now food and meowing. You are one noisy cat. You meow constantly. I give you dry food, water, 2 cans of wet food per day. The wet food you loved yesterday you definitely won’t like it the next time I serve it to you. I spoil you and give you treats everyday. They must be hard ones and a certain brand. Crazy cat! And the noise is out of this world. You are only quiet if you are sleeping.

You are jealous of the computer and bat my arm with your head or walk across the keyboard. I don’t know why you are jealous of it because you have no interest in me unless you are begging for food.

I wish you could understand and be my little snuggle-bunny.

Love,
Mommy

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Bipolar Disorder: Be an Advocate for Yourself- Everyone should read, not just those with Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar Disorder: Be an Advocate for Yourself.

Found an article that all people should read, not just those of us with Bipolar.

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Flat Tire?

This is a short story for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields “Friday Fictioneers” which is a 100 word fiction piece on the photo prompt.

sunrise-ff-banner

PHOTO PROMPT © G.L. MacMillan.

PHOTO PROMPT © G.L. MacMillan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the Johnson family stepped out of the car parked on the side of the road, they looked fearfully around. Just before the tire blew out they heard what sounded like a gunshot.

The sound wasn’t repeated, but a few people headed out of the little store by the filling station. One of them was an old-timer with a rifle over his shoulder. Everyone scurried out of his way.

“What the hell?” Mr. Johnson said.

Clem turned around, shot another bottle on the shelf and then pointed at their rear tire and fired.

“Grandpa! What are you doing?”

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Please read the fantasy story from my friend and vote if you like it.

Please read the fantasy story from my friend and vote if you like it.  http://www.inkitt.com/stories/17239

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Light and Shade Challenge – Haiku

29th July 2015 – Lock and Key

Every Wednesday we put up a new Challenge. There is a picture, a quotation and a 500 word limit. The Challenge is to take whatever is sparked by the picture and/or the quotation, however tenuous or remote the connection, and see how much fun you can have in 500 words. We never count the words. The main thing that is important to us (Lyssa Medana and Thomas Marlowe) is the fun.You have until midnight GMT Tuesday. Here is the picture prompt. Please credit if you show it on your blog.

Image courtesy of WikiCommons

This week’s quote is from Hunter S Thompson:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Written by Teresa Dean Smeigh Copy-Right 2015

The Key of our minds,

It locks up all the bad things,

Hidden from our past.

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Three Word Wednesday – Haiku

3wordwednesday

Three Word Wednesday

3WW Week No. 438

As you well know, each week I post three words. You write something using the words.

Then come back and post a link to the contribution with Mr. Linky (but please, link to the exact post, not your blog, by clicking on the exact post title and paste it to Mr. Linky below). As always, there’s no hard-and-fast rule that you have to post on Wednesday.
(And if you want a hint as to when I post three new words, follow me on Twitter @tgabrukiewicz.)

I do invite everyone to check back often to read and comment on other contributions. This is, after all, a community for writers, poets and bloggers who clamor for your feedback. Share with friends. Tweet the love. Let us build this community. 

Reflect, verb: (of a surface or body) throw back (heat, light, or sound) without absorbing it, (of a mirror or shiny surface) show an image of, embody or represent (something) in a faithful or appropriate way, (of an action or situation) bring (credit or discredit) to the relevant parties, bring about a good or bad impression of, think deeply or carefully about.

Tedious, adjective: too long, slow, or dull: tiresome or monotonous.

Waste, verb: use or expend carelessly, extravagantly, or to no purpose, bestow or expend on an unappreciative recipient, (of a person or a part of the body) become progressively weaker and more emaciated, kill or severely injure (someone) (informal); adjective: (of a material, substance, or byproduct) eliminated or discarded as no longer useful or required after the completion of a process; noun: an act or instance of using or expending something carelessly, extravagantly, or to no purpose, material that is not wanted; the unusable remains or byproducts of something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Written by Tessa Smeigh Copyright 2015

Reflect on my life,
Life should not be tedious.
What a waste of time.
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Fun Land!

This is a short story for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields “Friday Fictioneers” which is a 100 word fiction piece on the photo promt.

sunrise-ff-banner

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PHOTO PROMPT © Dee Lovering

PHOTO PROMPT © Dee Lovering

Fun Land is so much better on sunny days, but the kids were having fun throwing snowballs and riding the rides that were offered.

There was a souvenir booth and Rodney and Randy were headed there. They had money and wanted to spend it.

To get over there they had to pass the rails where the little train ran. They were so busy throwing snowballs as they ran, they didn’t notice the train until it hit them. They didn’t hear the screams.

The parents hadn’t accompanied them and the teachers had to inform the parents of the accident. Both dead!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is my first fiction piece in quite a while and I am not exactly happy with it, but with so little time it will have to do.

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Sweet Little Lies – a prompt from The Daily Post

Sweet Little Lies

As kids, we’re told, time and again, that lying is wrong. Do you believe that’s always true? In your book, are there any exceptions?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took this lesson from my parents to heart. I am honest to a fault. I have hurt people’s feelings depending on what mood on my Bipolar Disorder swing I happen to be in though and that is not good.

Now with that being said, when I am playing nice. I don’t want to hurt people. If they ask me if I like their new dress. I will say yes. A little white lie that avoids a lot of tears.

I think we should be honest with the big things and I usually can’t stop myself from telling the truth.

In order to avoid cheating on my marriage and thereby hurting my husband (who I now am sure was cheating on me) I told him flat out I was going to have sex with another man. No cheating and he had equal rights (still didn’t know about the others then) and we agreed to an open marriage. I risked a divorce (it did come later when he left me for someone else), but honesty was more important to me.

Tessa

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Three Word Wednesday – Haiku

3wordwednesday

Three Word Wednesday

3WW Week No. 437

As you well know, each week I post three words. You write something using the words.

Then come back and post a link to the contribution with Mr. Linky (but please, link to the exact post, not your blog, by clicking on the exact post title and paste it to Mr. Linky below). As always, there’s no hard-and-fast rule that you have to post on Wednesday.

(And if you want a hint as to when I post three new words, follow me on Twitter @tgabrukiewicz.)

I do invite everyone to check back often to read and comment on other contributions. This is, after all, a community for writers, poets and bloggers who clamor for your feedback. Share with friends. Tweet the love. Let us build this community. 
Metallic, adjective: of, relating to, or resembling metal or metals, (of sound) resembling that produced by metal objects striking each other; sharp and ringing, (of a person’s voice); emanating or as if emanating via an electronic medium, having the sheen or luster of metal; noun: a paint, fiber, fabric, or color with a metallic sheen.
Optimal, adjective: best or most favorable; optimum.
Polished, adjective: shiny as a result of being rubbed, accomplished and skillful, refined, sophisticated, or elegant. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Written by Tessa Smeigh Copyright 2015

Metallic Objects,
Optimal Sheen and Polished,
Displayed so Freely.
2 Comments »

Giant Fish Tank – (Non-Fiction)

A few years before our divorce A and I went to the Bahamas. Almost 20 years ago.

A is scuba diver and he was quite upset I wouldn’t dive with him and so he set up dives while we were there. I was terrified to put on equipment and go under the water. I had a snorkel and mask and fins with me, but I was afraid of that too.

He convinced me to try snorkeling. Well finally after an hour or more we finally got the mask on my face and face in the water. The water is really clear and you could see fish swimming around. Now my heart starts beating fast. I am terrified of the rays and barracudas and what not down there. All of a sudden a huge barracuda starts to rise to the surface and I scream. A comes over and says I heard you screaming through the water and I still have the mask and snorkel on and screamed under the surface. I had had enough.

Another day he wants to take me out on a boat to a snorkeling ridge where the Angel Fish are about a foot big.

Now we had smaller angel fish in our fish tank a home. He was always trying to get me to put my arm in and clean the tank. I told him know. I didn’t want those fish touching me.

So we went out on the boat. It took me a little less time to get the mask on. We were given bags of food. I should have known what was going to happen. I jumped in and was attacked by the giant angel fish. I screamed again and was told to give them the food. They are used to being fed.

I found myself in a GIANT FISH TANK. And panic washed over me. That did not strike me as funny and no I never cleaned his fish tank.

Tessa

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Honest Honey the Fish are Dead – (Non-Fiction)

This was about 30 years ago. My then husband, A, and I and of course our 2 daughters K1 and K2 were with us. Our son, W, wasn’t born yet. 

We lived in North Carolina at the time because A was in the Marine Corps. We lived on base and the housing wasn’t 2 bad.

Every weekend we went down to the shore and to our favorite pier and fished. Now I am afraid to touch fish, worms and other equally disgusting things. I put shrimp on my fishing pole. If I caught something A would have to take it off the line. That was all there was to it. 

K1 would run around and kick the sharks off the pier. The others weren’t too happy about that. They didn’t want them back in the water to catch. She wasn’t more than 3 years old at the most. K2 was around 2 years old or so and was in the playpen and practicing for her future career as a pitcher. She threw everything across the pier and into the water including her bottle. Great job.!

This one day we caught a lot of fish and A didn’t eat fish. He usually cleaned them for me. This day he said if I wanted to eat them I had to clean them. We took them home and he dumped them in the sink.

“Relax, they are all dead now and they won’t hurt you.”

I looked at him and the sink and he hand me the knife.

I tried to pick one up very carefully. It was slippery and kept sliding back into the sink. I finally got a couple cleaned and picked up another one.

Well it moved in my hand and the next thing I knew a fish went flying through the air and into the wall. Splat! The knife followed it.

That was it! I was done cleaning fish. A finally finished cleaning them for me.

I never, ever touched another one dead or alive, which was interesting when the kids wanted to fish in the lake in front of our house and actually caught a fish. “Wait til your dad gets home!”

5 Comments »

Practice Makes Perfect? – by the Daily Post

Tessa:

A prompt from my other blog!

Originally posted on Advocate for Invisible Illness!:

Practice Makes Perfect?

Tell us about a talent you’d love to have… but don’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I played the trumpet through my school years. I could read music, but not the notes so well as to the length to hold them. I was a fair player once I learned the tune. 

But what I dreamed of doing is playing the piano. I watched my friends and relatives who played and of course I loved the music coming out of it. I taught myself how to play the top melody with the right hand and it sounded pretty good, but I had no teacher so I slowly played with the right hand and brought in the left hand after working on trying to play it. I managed to play some simple songs with both hands. I was happy. And it was all the sweeter since I taught myself.

Tessa

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Meet and Greet – meet some new bloggers!

A meet and greet. Plenty of new bloggers to check out on here. I reblogged on the other blog and it won’t let me do it for this one so I am adding the link here instead.  Meet and Greet!

Lots of new blogs to peruse.

Tessa

http://www.tessacandoit.wordpress.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

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Clean Slate – by The Daily Post – Prompt

Tessa:

Written on “Advocate for Invisible Illness!”

Originally posted on Advocate for Invisible Illness!:

Clean Slate

Explore the room you’re in as if you’re seeing it for the first time. Pretend you know nothing. What do you see? Who is the person who lives there?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I walk in to this room I see it is a bedroom. The room is small and the owner has too much stuff for such a little room. You can see by a lot of the stuff that this person lives in this room as their living quarters. There is also a cat that is evidenced by the kitty litter box.

It is obvious the person is a slob. There is trash and recycles piled up. Looks like several weeks worth that need to go downstairs. If you look closely you realize this person also has hoarding tendencies. There is stuff piled on the floor and yet you can see empty drawers in the plastic cabinets used…

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Release Me – by Daily Post

Tessa:

From my blog “Advocate for Invisible Illness”

Originally posted on Advocate for Invisible Illness!:

Release Me

Tell us about the blog post you were most nervous to publish — and what it was like to set it free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think the blog post that made me the most nervous to publish was Day 4 Identify your audience. I was very nervous about this one because it was a heart-felt letter written to my children about my mental illness and when they were growing up, my suicide attempt and how much I needed their help at times. I posted a link on Facebook with their names so they could come and read it and I have not heard one word from any of them. Not one peep, not one angry word, not one loving word. It was liked pretty much by my readers, but my own children don’t seem to care. They would like to forget that any of that happened I guess…

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Land of Confusion – by Daily Post

Tessa:

Published on my other blog.

Originally posted on Advocate for Invisible Illness!:

Land of Confusion

Which subject in school did you find impossible to master? Did math give you hives? Did English make you scream? Do tell!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I loved English and Creative Writing (can you tell?), but when it came to math I just wanted to run and hide. I started out with the old math when I was very young and then came the new math. It went downhill from there.

I could do Algebra 1, no problem and even enjoyed some of those problems, but when it came to Algebra 2 and Trigonometry I lost it. I stumbled through that class and barely got passing grades. I never took Geometry and I had no basis to go on any further in Math. 

SorryAbyssbrain

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