Finally a Writer

watch me grow and spread my wings…

My Mouth is Zipped – prompt from the Daily News (non-fiction)

Never

Tell us about a thing you’ll never write about.

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The thing that I will never write about is the details of my experiences with wife-swapping and an open marriage. This is something we withheld from the children and our regular friends and besides it is not the kind of thing that belongs in a public journal type blog.

I did bring this up briefly in the story of the break-up of our marriage, but didn’t go into details except for the one who broke us up. The rest is not necessary to be publicly known.

There were some good and bad parts about the experience and it eventually led to the breakup of our marriage. I do not regret this experience, but I wouldn’t recommend it to others who are trying to mend a broken marriage.

Tess

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5 days, 5 photos. Day 5

5 days, 5 photos. Day 5

The Rules: The challenge is – “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo. It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge”. Thanks to HBHATNAGAR for doing this post and not nominating me. :-)    I said I’d give it a try and here I am!

I’ve decided to forgo nominations this time. I’ve bothered people enough with nominations. So give it a try if you haven’t yet and want to. Heck give 2 tries if you want to.

This is a picture of my silly cat, Sara. Afraid of people and animals.

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This is my kitty,

She is afraid of people.

Run, kitty cat, run!

Sara

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Saved by the Bell – prompt by the Daily Post

Saved by the Bell

Tell us about a time when you managed to extract yourself from a sticky situation at the very last minute.

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A couple I used to babysit for had a son who was about 13. I was 15. They didn’t want to tie him down to babysit his brother and sister so they hired me. Things went along well for several weeks and then one night he came home early with a friend and they tried to rape me. Thankfully it was time for his parents to come home so they hopped up and headed out the back door. Talk about saved by the bell (parents coming home).

Tessa

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5 days, 5 photos. Day 4

The Rules: The challenge is – “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo. It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge”. Thanks to HBHATNAGAR for doing this post and not nominating me. :-)    I said I’d give it a try and here I am!

I’ve decided to forgo nominations this time. I’ve bothered people enough with nominations. So give it a try if you haven’t yet and want to. Heck give 2 tries if you want to.

This is a picture of a park near me where I walk sometimes.

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Walking for my health,

The geese and turtles abound.

Love to walk this park!

Taken by Teresa Dean Smeigh - Another park I walk in - NJ

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Sun Rise – Haiku

Sun Rise, by Teresa Dean Smeigh 2015

The sun is rising,

The heat begins to follow.

The day ends, sun sets.

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Fifteen Credits —- prompt by the Daily Post

Fifteen Credits

If you’re in school, are you enjoying your classes? If you’re out of school, what do you miss about it — or are you glad those days are over?

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I am a 58 year old blogger. I started blogging about 3 or 4 years ago. I have 2 sites I am running. I have been out of school since 2001 where I took computer programming and web design, but I found that was a total waste really because my dream was to be a writer not a computer programmer like I thought at the time.

I have loved writing ever since I was a young kid and we wrote little poems in school. Some of them even made my blog. The ones that I could find anyhow. I wish now that I had followed my heart and gone to school for creative writing. What stopped me you say? I was 17 and turned what I thought was a great story into a magazine. Everyone praised my work so I thought I should win that spot in the contest. I was rejected and it ruined my whole outlook on writing. I quit it!

You could say I wasn’t mature at the time to handle the rejection and I wasn’t. It really ruined my dreams. So I never went to college after high school. I got married and had kids instead. but I never lost my love for writing. I wrote, but no one was allowed to see it anymore even though my work was always praised. My spirit was broken.

I graduated from the tech school for computer programming and web design, but my heart wasn’t in it and my daughter and I designed 2 sites and quit.

After I became disabled and no longer able to work I found that I had the time to write in spurts. I can’t sit long, but if the spirit is within me, a poem takes only minutes. I finally started looking for ways to learn how to write better. I can’t go to school because Disability would not allow it, but I spend my time, writing my 2 blogs including stories and poems and my other blog is for my research into how to write as well as learning positivity in life and other general subjects.

I feel there is always something to be learned and I never give up a chance to learn it, be it at a university or on the web. I am a student of writing and will never stop learning.

Tessa

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5 days, 5 photos. Day 3

Tessa:

Here is Photo # 3 of the photo challenge.

Originally posted on Tessa Can Do IT!:

The Rules: The challenge is – “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo. It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge”. Thanks to HBHATNAGAR for doing this post and not nominating me. :-)    I said I’d give it a try and here I am!

I’ve decided to forgo nominations this time. I’ve bothered people enough with nominations. So give it a try if you haven’t yet and want to. Heck give 2 tries if you want to.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I am in the girl in this picture. It was for the bikini board while hubby was in boot camp for the US Marine Corps, and I was 20 years old there.

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Husband in Marines,

They had a bikini board.

This is…

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5 days, 5 photos. Day 2

The Rules: The challenge is – “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo. It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge”. Thanks to HBHATNAGAR for doing this post and not nominating me. :-)    I said I’d give it a try and here I am!

I’ve decided to forgo nominations this time. I’ve bothered people enough with nominations. So give it a try if you haven’t yet and want to. Heck give 2 tries if you want to.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I am in the girl in this picture. It was a band trip.

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Girl in Hip Huggers

Belly Button all for show.

No Parking by sign!

17 yrs

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The Daily Post Prompt – Never Again!

The Daily Post Prompt – for prompt page click here!

Have you ever gone to a new place or tried a new experience and thought to yourself, “I’m never doing that again!” Tell us about it.

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I was 21 years old and looked like I swallowed a basketball. Now obviously that isn’t possible, but I did have some help from my husband impregnating me. So yes I was 9 months pregnant.

I loved being pregnant most of the time and I tried not thinking about the birthing process. It was my first child so I really didn’t know what would happen anyhow.

So labor starts and lasts 36 hours. Talk about not fun, labor is as non-fun as you can get. The pain is tremendous. You begin screaming and cursing at the baby’s father with every name in the book. You swear you will never do that again! NEVER!!

Then you take that sweet little baby home and love blossoms, growing bigger and bigger and weeks later you realize that you would do that again. It feels as if none of that awful birthing business and recovery happened at all.

PS I had another 20 months later and then again 8 years later. BUT the third one was the absolutely last child I was having. I couldn’t forget the pain this time. I was done! NEVER  AGAIN!

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Girl in Bikini — Haiku

Girl in Bikini,

Bikini is all for show.

It does not get wet!

16 yrs

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The End of the Misery — (non-fiction) Slightly Long Story

I woke up to a beautiful morning. I had plans later that afternoon I was looking forward to. A, my husband, asked me,”If I wanted to go get me a new car?”

I was so excited that the fact that he was letting me pick it out, that I out-weighed the caution I should have had since I always drove the new vehicle, but never got to choose it. I found a black sporty Ford Escort with a spoiler on the back. I changed my mind when I find out it was $3000 more than the plain black escort. He said, “No,no, get whatever one you want!” So I threw caution to the wind and said I want the sport one.

We knew the dealer and he told him to write it up in my name. Another oddity, but I didn’t say anything. We were able to drive it home that day. Insurance was contacted and the only thing troubling me was that I needed a refresher course on driving a stick-shift. I hadn’t driven one in a while.

As the paperwork was finished the car was in his name only, mine wasn’t mentioned and they couldn’t change it. He was upset by that. He wanted it in my name. He is still acting strange.

Mindful of the time and that I had to drive quite a difference in a car I wasn’t used to was going to be a trip. Now I was on my way to see a guy. My husband A and I tried about 3 years of an open marriage in order to save it. The rules were we told each other where we were going and who we were meeting just in case there was trouble. I was going alone. This one wasn’t a wife swap. We did it both ways.

I finally felt comfortable enough and jumped in the car and took off to meet this guy. It was a long drive and I worried about getting lost.  We finally met up and got acquainted. The afternoon ended in a motel. That is the way these things worked. I headed home after that. 

After dinner I went upstairs to work on my computer. We were started a business and I was making an online catalog website. It was a lot harder then than it is now. I had to hand code everything. I didn’t use an editor to just type what you want and it would type the code. In the meantime he was downstairs on his computer.

Something occurred to me and I needed to ask him so I padded barefoot downstairs and into the family room where the other computer was. Just as I walked in across the screen came in big letters,”I love you and miss you and when can we get together.” I knew who she was, she was M and she and her husband were supposed to meet us, but she always had an excuse so it was always a three-some for dinner and show and gambling at the casino she worked for. It was a comp.

I had been beginning to get suspicious because he never told me he was going to meet her. He would come home and say “What a surprise I ran into M and we had dinner.”She lived no where near us and there were too many coincidences.

Finally he asked her when her husband would be ready to meet us? She stalled and finally said he didn’t like short girls. I am 4’11” tall. That didn’t bother me I was happier with a single guy although I did have three-somes and we went to many party’s that turned into orgies. Not my favorite, but I did it to make him happy. Now I do have to tell you that seeing someone else was my idea and I told him that he had the same priviliges. I didn’t want to cheat and an open marriage was good enough. I wanted to try sex with someone else.

I did this because I couldn’t stand him touching me. He disgusted me. I thought I was having a serious problem since everyone seemed to love sex and I hated it. I found out it wasn’t me, it was him and me. 

This was the perfect way to stay married with the kids and still have enjoyable sex. Ahh, but remember him and his meetings with M all the time.

So that night when I came downstairs it was M who was writing about love and missing him and seeing him soon.

I didn’t say a word. I turned around and walked upstairs sat down at my computer and went back to work. 

About 15 minutes later A comes upstairs and sits on the bed so he could watch me while he took his shoes off. He told me,”Oh I am taking my shoes off for the night.”

One I could see that and two he never brought them upstairs. 

She sent him upstairs to see what I was doing. Maybe I was having a breakdown and killing myself, I mean with my Bipolar they thought I was nuts. He wasn’t prepared to see me working and no tears. He finally dragged it out as long as he could and went down the stairs again.

I got ready for bed and went to bed, not saying a word.

Days went by I refused to talk and he was walking around scared about what was going to happen.

Finally all the lights in the house were on when he got home from his night job. He knew his time had run out. 

He came upstairs and I said, “What is going on? What are you and M doing? Do you want a divorce?”

“No,” he said. “I want our family to stay together.”

“So the three of us are going to be a family?”

“Oh, no M and I will just see each other occasionally.”

I wasn’t ready for a divorce so I agreed.

It wasn’t 2 days later when he came into the house and says, “M’s husband found out about us and her kids hate her now. Her husband wants a divorce.”

Now if you remember correctly her supposedly knew about the swapping and her husband just didn’t like short girls.

Lies, nothing but lies.

“Now we get the divorce,” I said. “Unless you want to go to marriage counseling?”

No he didn’t. He was sorry, but he wanted M.

Fine, I was finally free of a marriage I didn’t want in the first place. He used the “I am going to kill myself if you don’t marry me trick.” He also used it when he thought maybe I was going to divorce him before he met her. Sick man. Found out lately he was a narcissist.

I had always said I couldn’t leave him. It couldn’t be my fault. Especially since he kept threatening to kill himself if I left. So I wished for this, but you know what, be careful what you wish for. The divorce came as a shock anyhow.

Telling the kids was heart-breaking. The girls K1 an K2 were in their early 20’s and W3 was 12 and my soon to be ex-husband demanded custody or he would drag my name through the mud for the courts.

We did our own divorce. I got the shit-end of the deal, but I was free from that man.

We went to court and he told me that I had better not cry and embarrass him. He thought I would and when I didn’t he was shocked and hurt. He thought I would cry over him. I showed him.

He took our son until he was 16 and refused to live with him anymore and came to me.

I maybe lonely, but I am happier without him.

He proposed to her right away, gave her a fancy ring and here it is 16 years later and no marriage. They just live together and not happily every after.

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Groupthink by Michelle W (prompt)

Write a post that includes dialogue between two people — other than you. (For more of a challenge, try three or more people.)

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Daddy I am pregnant!

Kay you are only 17 years old!

I don’t know how it happened daddy. We used protection. We did I swear!

Sir, I am so sorry to get your daughter pregnant. It wasn’t planned, really it wasn’t.

You must get rid of the child now.

No, daddy, I want my child and I will keep it. I will not have an abortion.

I will take care of my child on my own daddy with my baby’s daddy.

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Daddy Dearest’s Angst (non-fiction)

My now ex-husband, we were married at the time of this story, was a real pain in the ass at times. He made up this rule that I had to be home every night while he was working so he could call me on all his breaks and whenever he wasn’t busy which was a lot of the time. The other part of the rule was that I had to call him on my breaks too. Now I was working a packing job and for 12 hours on my feet. I had a 15 minute break, a 30 minute (lunch) and another 15 minute break (thank God this one was when he was sleeping). I couldn’t sit down because no chair at the phone booth. I couldn’t eat on my breaks. He was just really ridiculous when it came to this stupid rule. And like all of them I did what he said.

So one night K2, 17 years old, comes in with her boyfriend’s mother, but no boyfriend. I knew this wasn’t good.

The mother told me that Karen had come to her (not me, her mother because she was afraid of her dad) and said she was afraid she was pregnant. So the mother took her to a clinic for a pregnancy test which came back positive. I wasn’t thrilled, but I didn’t yell. I told her she could have come to me. And yes her dad will have to be told.

Thing is my husband demanded that K1 tell him when she was 17 if she was having sex. She was stunned and then stuttered yes. He turned to me and said put her on birth control. Well it was too late for 17 year old K2. We, the 2 mothers talked it over. Her son was only 16. No one felt forcing them to marry was the right thing and it is a good thing because they broke up and he ended up marrying and having more kids.

THE PHONE RINGS! Uh oh, guess who? Daddy dearest. I finally answered. I didn’t know what to do. Finally I told him that she was pregnant. If I have to be upset, so can he. He was furious and yelled at me for ruining his night at work. Oh well, he was the one who demanded I be there to answer the damn telephone all night. If he hadn’t called he wouldn’t know until the next day.

The next few days were not pleasant. He demanded she get an abortion. “NO, she said, I want my child!”  He talked to other men, make her, they told him. He told her she had to have an abortion and tried to drag me into it. I said no myself because I don’t believe in abortion. If that was her choice I would live with it, but no I would not agree with him. This started to mess with our already broken marriage.

Next he tried adoption. She said no. And of course I said no you can’t make her. 

I started going to yardsales and thrift shops for baby stuff. The girls rearranged their room to fit in a crib.

She was a senior in high school and went to school until they put her out and sent us a tutor. Then she was on bed rest.

The time came fast and one day she told me her water broke. I hat to put her in my new car with tons of towels which she soaked and rushed way over the speed limit to get her to the hospital because her contractions were only a minute or two long. I yelled at her not to have that baby in my car. No police cars stopped up to give us a police escort. Got her to the hospital in time. If the baby’s head wasn’t so big she might have had him sooner, but he was jammed. The had to use forceps to deliver him and he tore her apart at almost 9 pounds. 

While they stitched her up I held the baby and we bonded. The father was there taking videos of the event.

Once she came home we settled into a routine. I had just been laid off and could babysit and she went back to finish her senior year.

My ex-husband is not her favorite and he called her baby baggage. He can’t understand why she is mad at him.

That baby is now 17 years old and driving.

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Fulfillment – a poem (Haiku)

Fulfillment

written by Teresa Dean Smeigh 2015


Fulfilment is sweet.

Happiness is not the same.

Bipolar controlled!

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Babies (poem – Haiku)

Babies – By Teresa Dean Smeigh 2015

Babies smell so sweet

Until moments just before

An event ensues.

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Tuesday at Ten {I find strength in . . . }

New Tuesday at Ten logo - 5-21-15

Tuesday at Ten {I find strength in . . . }

Welcome to Tuesday at Ten! The Tuesday blog Link up where you have 6 full days to use the “prompt phrase” as a part of your writing.

Each week I post a prompt phrase and you finish the phrase and write how that phrase fits you and your life or your thoughts.

Whether it be just writing a story behind the phrase or being as creative as you wish using photos, poems, art, or graphics – whichever creative way you choose.

You have 6 days to write and link up your blog at the bottom of the page so that others can link up with you.

Be sure to visit your “link up” neighbor and spread the joy of connection! A new Prompt word is posted every Tuesday Morning at 10am, the link up closes at 11pm the night before.

Every Monday evening (the day before the new word is posted) I will choose ONE highlighted writer of the week to be highlighted and shared on the Tuesday at Ten Facebook page for all to see. You will also get an award graphic for that week to post on your blog.

Make sure to visit the Tuesday at Ten Facebook page to view the winner and for daily news!

Remember  – it’s not about being perfect, it’s about being YOU. Have FUN!

Today’s Prompt PHRASE is { I find strength in . . . . .  }

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By Teresa Dean Smeigh 2015

I find strength in God above.

I find strength in all living things.

I find strength in my family’s love.

I find strength in an angel that sings.

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Monotony Free Mondays Link Below – join us in writing a group story!!!

http://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2015/06/15/monotony-free-mondays-week-6/

Tessa

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The Blue Bird of Happiness – (non-fiction story)

The Blue Bird of Happiness

– by Teresa Dean Smeigh 2015

Approximately 10 years ago now my oldest daughter K1 was married. It was a crazy time and the wedding planning was rough as her father and I were divorced and she and her soon-to-be inlaws paid for most of the wedding. I had no money as a divorcee struggling to raise a son on my own, but managed to pay for half the wedding gown.

The gown was beautiful and it was made just for her. You know how you try something on and it is the one? She tried it on at the shop and they had her out front so everyone could see and all the customers came over to watch. She tried on several gowns, but we all loved the same one.  She picked out her bridesmaid’s gowns, but she had to be mindful of the fact that one of them was pregnant and although she would have the baby before then the dress would probably have to cover baby fat. The dresses picked out looked really good on all 3 of the girls. They were all dressed in dark blue or a navy blue, not sure which.

Her sister, K2, was the maid of honor. K2’s son was the ring bearer. Our son W was on the guy’s side. He looked nice in his Tux.

The day of the wedding all of the woman were at the beauty parlor getting their hair done. The girl did a beautiful job with the bride’s hair and had incorporated her veil. She looked beautiful.

While they continued working on the girls, K1 went outside to smoke. She is standing out there and all of a sudden we hear her yelling. She puts out the cigarette and comes running inside. Her words were, “A bird just shit on my veil!” She started to get really upset. We got some damp rags and set to work washing the bird poop out of the veil. It cleaned up nice thankfully.

We managed to convince her that it was good luck for a bird to poop on your veil.

Then just as we get her calmed down storm clouds start rolling in. Thundershowers were predicted.

We get to the church for the wedding with no rain, but by the time the reception had rolled around it had already rained.

The pictures were supposed to be taken outside. They had a beautiful setting for pictures, but the dark cloud remained, the ground was soaking wet and it was thundering again.

They took just the bride and groom out to the small river and put down tarps and took a few outside shots. We had to convince her again that rain on your wedding was good luck. What else could go wrong?

The next problem was that they wanted my ex-husband and me to walk in together. His girlfriend was mad about that, but she wasn’t family. So we walked in next to each other, but not holding hands like the other couples.

Finally we are all seated and my ex and I were at different tables. All the kids were at the head tables so I was sitting with my family and K2’s escort. Our friends were seated with the ex and his girlfriend.

The funny thing was that he didn’t dance with his girlfriend he was dancing with an old friend that he was close to. Watching that I believe that even though they claimed to be just friends while we were married, I think there was more than that going on. I was kind of mad and so was the girlfriend. The bad thing was that I promised to give this girl a ride home. I promised so I did it. I wasn’t happy about it.

Even with the rocky start to their marriage, they have 2 beautiful children and are happily married.

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Midnight Hours – a poem

Midnight Hours  

written by Teresa Dean Smeigh 2015

 

The surreal darkness of the midnight hours.

Different rooms from the day time.

Shadows changing, stretching

Reaching out for me.

~~~~~~

Once known faces, different, scary.

Touches from those once alive.

I try to wake up, the evil is writhing.

The light scares them away again.

~~~~~~

I want my mother to comfort me.

Hug the dream monsters away.

I have to accept her comfort from Heaven

Because she is no longer here for me.

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A Mother’s Love – Poem

A Mother’s Love – by Teresa Dean Smeigh (2015)

Mother I feel your love

surrounding me now.

Is it my thoughts of you

that bring you forth to 

comfort me?

I still miss you, you know?

I miss our talks and your

great wisdom.

You were my best friend,

you brushed away my tears with

a gentle touch.

You helped me through 

the rough spots.

Mother I feel your love

surrounding me now.

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