Fathers and Daughters…Non-fiction

I don’t know about others, but my father has always terrified me. Even as a full grown grandmom, he still scares me. I live in his house and he is my father and I am the daughter. The dynamic is still there on both of our parts. He tells me what to do as if I am still a little child and since he is always confused and forgets I get the same sermon time after time. Now I can’t blame the man completely since he is 83 years old, but still it aggravates the hell out of me. Getting mad at him and yelling back does nothing because he forgets it.

Now one that is really getting on my nerves is the fact that I have sensitive eyes and can’t read in bright light. It was the same way when I was a child. I understand this is part of the Fibromyalgia. All my childhood I got yelled at for not putting on enough light in his eyes.

Now I get nastily, “You know you can put that light on. I shouldn’t have to tell you.”

I tell him, “Dad it is just enough light for me, my eyes are sensitive to bright light and hurt.”

Now sometimes he doesn’t even REMIND me he just turns the light on high.

We do this game over and over again.  I finally stopped reading downstairs where he is because I was about to go ballistic on him.

Tessa

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About Tessa

Teresa (Tessa) Smeigh is now in her 60's and still going strong despite her disabilities affecting both physical and mental abilities. She has bipolar disorder (mental), Fibromyalgia (nerves), degenerative disc disease (spine), and arthritis (joints). Despite that she is active in Mental Health Advocating, writing for www.IBPF.org (volunteer for non-profit) and has 5 blog posts already published by them. She is also working on 2 fiction books (mysteries). She keeps her blog filled with useful content, daily devotionals (She is a Christian), stories and poems. Plenty to keep you busy. She has also been interviewed by blogs and had other posts published on many different blogs. She is from Deptford, NJ. Her family and blog keep her busy.
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4 Responses to Fathers and Daughters…Non-fiction

  1. I imagine it would be best to read in a different room at that point.

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  2. FLO says:

    the roles are reversing, aren’t they? He still thinks in the past and doesn’t realize that his memory and a lot of other things are declining. I understand how difficult it can be to live in your father’s house, see all these things happening, and not be able to effect changes. For now, all you can do is avoid. It’s part of the life cycle. All things considered it’s not as bad as it could be. You still have a room to call your own and he doesn’t follow you into other rooms, does he? Our minds and bodies deteriorate as we age. It’s a difficult time for the seniors and the juniors. Love carries us through.

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    • Tessa says:

      The thing of it is he does realize that his memory is going and it pisses him off no end. That is part of the anger I have to sustain. I have to be his memory at times and he can’t hear so that just makes things worse. I have to repeat it over and over and over again. My sister doesn’t know how lucky she is. She is here at times and not subject to what I go through.

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