I was so excited that the fact that he was letting me pick it out, that I let the excitement I had out-weigh the caution I should have had since I always drove the new vehicle, but never got to choose it. I found a black sporty Ford Escort with a spoiler on the back. I changed my mind when I find out it was $3000 more than the plain black escort. He said, “No,no, get whatever one you want!” So I threw caution to the wind and said I want the sporty one.
We knew the dealer and he told him to write it up in my name. Another oddity, but I didn’t say anything. We were able to drive it home that day. Insurance was contacted and the only thing troubling me was that I needed a refresher course on driving a stick-shift. I hadn’t driven one in a while.
As the paperwork was finished the car was in his name only, mine wasn’t mentioned and they couldn’t change it. He was upset by that. He wanted it in my name. He is still acting strange.
Mindful of the time and that I had to drive quite a difference in a car I wasn’t used to was going to be a trip. Now I was on my way to see a guy. My husband A and I tried about 3 years of an open marriage in order to try and save it. The rules were we told each other where we were going and who we were meeting just in case there was trouble. I was going alone. This one wasn’t a wife swap. We did it both ways.
I finally felt comfortable enough and jumped in the car and took off to meet this guy. It was a long drive and I worried about getting lost. We finally met up and got acquainted. The afternoon ended in a motel. That is the way these things worked. I headed home after that.
After dinner I went upstairs to work on my computer. We were starting a business and I was making an online catalog website. It was a lot harder then than it is now. I had to hand code everything. I didn’t use an editor to just type what you want and it would type the code. In the meantime he was downstairs on his computer.
Something occurred to me and I needed to ask him so I padded barefoot downstairs and into the family room where the other computer was. Just as I walked in across the screen came in big letters,”I love you and miss you and when can we get together.” I knew who she was, she was M and she and her husband were supposed to meet us, but she always had an excuse so it was always a three-some for dinner and show and gambling at the casino she worked for. It was a comp.
I had been beginning to get suspicious because he never told me he was going to meet her. He would come home and say “What a surprise I ran into M and we had dinner.”She lived no where near us and there were too many coincidences.
Finally he asked her when her husband would be ready to meet us? She stalled and finally said he didn’t like short girls. I am 4’11” tall. That didn’t bother me I was happier with a single guy although I did have three-somes and we went to many party’s that turned into orgies. Not my favorite, but I did it to make him happy. Now I do have to tell you that seeing someone else was my idea and I told him that he had the same priviliges. I didn’t want to cheat and an open marriage was good enough. I wanted to try sex with someone else.
I did this because I couldn’t stand him touching me. He disgusted me. I thought I was having a serious problem since everyone seemed to love sex and I hated it. I found out it wasn’t me, it was him and me.
This was the perfect way to stay married with the kids and still have enjoyable sex. Ahh, but remember him and his meetings with M all the time.
So that night when I came downstairs it was M who was writing about love and missing him and seeing him soon.
I didn’t say a word. I turned around and walked upstairs sat down at my computer and went back to work.
About 15 minutes later A comes upstairs and sits on the bed so he could watch me while he took his shoes off. He told me,”Oh I am taking my shoes off for the night.”
One I could see that and two he never brought them upstairs.
She sent him upstairs to see what I was doing. Maybe I was having a breakdown and killing myself, I mean with my Bipolar they thought I was nuts. He wasn’t prepared to see me working and no tears. He finally dragged it out as long as he could and went down the stairs again.
I got ready for bed and went to bed, not saying a word.
Days went by I and I refused to talk and he was walking around scared about what was going to happen.
Finally all the lights in the house were on when he got home from his night job. He knew his time had run out.
He came upstairs and I said, “What is going on? What are you and M doing? Do you want a divorce?”
“No,” he said. “I want our family to stay together.”
“So the three of us are going to be a family?”
“Oh, no M and I will just see each other occasionally.”
I wasn’t ready for a divorce so I agreed.
It wasn’t 2 days later when he came into the house and says, “M’s husband found out about us and her kids hate her now. Her husband wants a divorce.”
Now if you remember correctly he supposedly knew about the swapping and her husband just didn’t like short girls.
Lies, nothing but lies.
“Now we get the divorce,” I said. “Unless you want to go to marriage counseling?”
No he didn’t. He was sorry, but he wanted M.
Fine, I was finally free of a marriage I didn’t want in the first place. He used the “I am going to kill myself if you don’t marry me trick.” He also used it when he thought maybe I was going to divorce him before he met her. Sick man. Found out lately he was a narcissist.
I had always said I couldn’t leave him. It couldn’t be my fault. Especially since he kept threatening to kill himself if I left. So I wished for this, but you know what, be careful what you wish for. The divorce came as a shock anyhow.
Telling the kids was heart-breaking. The girls K1 an K2 were in their early 20’s and W3 was 12 and my soon to be ex-husband demanded custody or he would drag my name through the mud for the courts.
We did our own divorce. I got the shit-end of the deal, but I was free from that man.
We went to court and he told me that I had better not cry and embarrass him. He thought I would and when I didn’t he was shocked and hurt. He thought I would cry over him. I showed him.
He took our son until he was 16 and refused to live with him anymore and came to me.
I maybe lonely, but I am happier without him.
He proposed to her right away, gave her a fancy ring and here it is 16 years later and no marriage. They just live together and not happily every after.
Disclaimer: It is now 21 years later and no marriage. I really doubt it will ever happen legally. I think since they have been together 21 years that they are probably common-law married anyhow.