FRIDAY FICTION with RONOVAN WRITES Prompt Challenge #14 Judy and John – Just a Little Slip

FRIDAY FICTION with RONOVAN WRITES Prompt Challenge #14 Judy and John – Just a little slip

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Part 1 is John and Judy.

Part 2 is The Honeymoon

Part 3 is The Flight

Part 4 is The Hospital Under Siege

Part 5 is Love me Tender

Part 6 is Thanksgiving Dinner

Part 7 is The Newborn

Part 8 is Recovery From Birth

Part 9  is The Lesson

Part 10 is Surprise

Part 11 is “Teenage Lobotomy” by the Ramones

Part 12 is The Cave Safe Zone

Part 13 is The Cave – Not So Safe After All

Part 14 is Just a Little Slip

“Judy and John – The Cave – Just a Little Slip”

By Teresa Smeigh February 2016

Gina had been gone about half an hour and Cindy was rummaging in the cave for some food for them all.

Judy started crying and Cindy came back to comfort her sister. Judy had been strong, but now she was missing the baby and was afraid she would never see Michael again.

The soldier watched her quietly. He moved and the dog growled. He got the message quickly especially seeing the other dead soldier. He lay quietly.

In an American accent he told Judy that he had something for her in his pocket, but obviously she would have to come closer to get it.

Cindy came back and placed the gun to his head. Judy nervously reached in the shirt pocket and pulled out a note in Paulie Bayman’s handwriting, her old boyfriend, who was dead in that raid. She would know it anywhere. She fell back on the floor, trembling, and burst into a new spate of crying. The note said Michael is with Boaz and I can show you where, but you have to let me free.

She walked over to the soldier and pulled off the mustache, the beard and then the hat. Paulie was dark-haired and the spitting image of this soldier. He even sounded like him.

She paced, not knowing what to do. Wait for Michael or head out on her own. They couldn’t leave the poor pilot alone with no protection. Gina wasn’t here to let the soldier/Paulie go.

Cindy didn’t ask. She shot the dead shoulder, waited a few beats and the fired 3 times hoping Gina and John were in the area to hear them and not the bad guys.

The girls hid in the cave out of the opening. They heard someone stealthily moving in and prayed it was Johnny and Gina.

Judy, John cried out. We’re okay come on in and see this note. This soldier is Paulie, he is not dead and he has a note about Michael.

John and Gina walked in followed by soldiers at their backs rifles pressed up tight not allowing for much movement.

No, you can’t have my baby Judy shouted. He is mine and I intend to save him.

The lead soldier sees his dead soldier and one he doesn’t recognize.

Drop the guns ladies the soldier ordered.

Gina gave a new signal and the shepherd attacked the head guy and ripped him apart and Judy and Cindy shot the other two, warning Paulie to move out of the way. He moved warily but quickly, aware of the dog.

Once the enemy was taken care of, John wanted to see the note. He read, Michael is with Boaz and I can show you where, but you have to let me free.

So this is the famous boyfriend who might be Michael’s father instead of me?

Whoa was Paulie’s reaction. I might be a father? And Boaz has that baby. I’ll kill him. He never told me.

Just then the pilot woke up. We can’t hide here John it is not safe. Gina went to the pilot again and checked his wound and splint and asked John if they should knock him out again. It really wasn’t safe.

Paulie said I can take you straight to Boaz. He isn’t far from here and he has your father and mother both alive still at the moment. Most likely because he needs your mother to take care of Michael and he knows if he kills the woman and/or the husband, he will be stuck with childcare and that is not his thing.

Does he know you are still alive John wonders aloud.

No he thinks I am dead like everyone else and he hopes the baby will provide leverage of some sort.

What sort. We can’t help him.

He is being tracked by the Aussies and they are a determined bunch.

Great two different enemies John thinks quietly to himself.

Alright here is the current plan. Move the pilot out of site and dose him with plenty of alcohol. Hopefully he will remain quiet. Then all of us follow Paulie carefully. If I find you double-crossed us, Paulie, you will be as dead as those men right there, pointing at the dead soldiers.

We get to Boaz’s and stay outside and you have a family reunion. Try to get a hold of Michael and say that you heard he might be yours and you want a DNA test, you don’t want another man’s baby.

Boaz must have a radio or communication of some sort. We burst in and you convince him not to shoot we are here to save him from the Aussie drug runners. If he cooperates we will convince them to go easy on him and depending on whose baby it is besides Judy’s we will work this out one way or another.


 Constructive Criticism welcome! Not sure I understood no external dialogue on here.


About Tessa

My name is Tessa Dean and I am an author and blogger. My writing styles vary and I love writing using prompts. I am also writing my first book, a Memoir entitled "Government Property - A Memoir of a Military Wife".  This is being published on the blog rather than the traditional way. I am putting up chapters as I go along. I keep my blog filled with useful content, stories, and poems. Plenty to keep you busy. I have also been interviewed by blogs and had other posts published on many different blogs. I also wrote a series of articles on Bipolar Disorder for IBPF (International Bipolar Foundation). I am in my 60’s and disabled which allows me plenty of time to write to my heart’s content. I live in southern New Jersey and have 3 children and 5 grandchildren. My oldest grandchild is a Sargent in the United States Marine Corps.
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4 Responses to FRIDAY FICTION with RONOVAN WRITES Prompt Challenge #14 Judy and John – Just a Little Slip

  1. Ronovan says:

    When you convert this to a book or novella, put the dialogue in parenthesis for this part. External dialogue is spoken dialogue. A piece without external dialogue would be thoughts, internal monologues, a person arguing with themselves. This could easily turned into a no dialogue piece. There are key points to the story where the reaction thoughts of a person can give you all you need to know. It takes practice to do the show don’t tell idea when doing no spoken dialogue but you can and when you do it right, it’s a great tool.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Friday Fiction with Ronovan Writes Prompt #14 Entries: THE #LINKS | ronovanwrites

  3. Ritu says:

    The story is really progressing 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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