The Cottage – the last piece

Rain is pounding thickly through the trees and striking the ground. Sarah jumps up confused yet again. Where is she now? Better yet, what year is this?

She seems to be alone this time, but she slowly and warily turns around surveying her surroundings. She hears a male voice in the distance.

The voice is shouting and getting closer. “Sarah Lynne, get your ass out here or you wont’ be able to sit for a week!” Daddy?? No, not possible, noooooooooooo!

Sarah knows that her father will beat her ass even if she steps out right now and quickly drops behind a bush. She tries to hide from view while considering her options.

Her father is a mean drunk and she thought she was well rid of him. He was killed in an accident last year. Oh wait, last year, she doesn’t even know what year this is and she’s a kid again. He was very much alive and a mean drunk.

Sarah starts slithering through the bushes. She isn’t sure where she is. She hasn’t been in these woods in years.

“Pssst, Sarah, quick this way,” Saree whispers not far from her. Sarah doesn’t know where she came from, but she doesn’t care. She knows her way through these woods.

The girls sprint through the bushy area and finally the cottage comes into view. The cottage she remembers from her childhood and not the one she ducked into on her walk. There is no time to worry about the 2 different cottages.

Now what? They are both soaked!

Just then Serge darts out the door and tells them to quick change and he will stall Daddy. They don’t waste another second.

“Daddy, daddy, where are you? We’re hungry and momma said don’t forget to make us lunch.,” Serge shouts out into the woods.

“I am looking for that brat Sarah,” he yells back.

“Sarah and Saree are in their room. Can we eat please?

“You better not be lying to me!”

“Oh Daddy, can we have lunch please, we’re hungry,” the girls said. The three swarm around their father.

He looks at them perplexedly, but sees nothing out of the ordinary. He glares at each of them and says, “You had better not be messing with me!”

“We’re not daddy!” And winked at each other behind his back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have created a writer’s page on Facebook, please click here to “LIKE” my page.

Tessa

Advertisements

About Tessa

Teresa (Tessa) Smeigh is now in her 60's and still going strong despite her disabilities affecting both physical and mental abilities. She has bipolar disorder (mental), Fibromyalgia (nerves), degenerative disc disease (spine), and arthritis (joints). Despite that she is active in Mental Health Advocating, writing for www.IBPF.org (volunteer for non-profit) and has 5 blog posts already published by them. She is also working on 2 fiction books (mysteries). She keeps her blog filled with useful content, daily devotionals (She is a Christian), stories and poems. Plenty to keep you busy. She has also been interviewed by blogs and had other posts published on many different blogs. She has 3 blogs so far http://www.tessacandoit.com and http://www.finallyawriter.com and http://www.sunnythoughtsandprayers.wordpress.com She is from Deptford, NJ. Her family and blogs keep her busy.
This entry was posted in Fiction, Short Stories, Writing Prompts and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to The Cottage – the last piece

  1. Nice. Some minor concrit: -ly adverbs can bog down the pace of any story. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind is to only use -ly adverbs that describe something that wouldn’t be obvious to the reader. ie: She whispered softly (softly is obvious in a whisper and so isn’t needed) but She whispered aggressively…(conjures up a different tone, right?)

    “She seems to be alone this time, but she slowly and warily turns around surveying her surroundings.” in this case “slowly and warily” distracts. Try “but she turns, wary of her surroundings.” or something along those lines.

    And I found “perplexedly” to be an awkward word.

    Other than that I love the direction you’re taking this story. Great take on the prompt!

    Like

    • Tessa says:

      Thanks for the concrit! Many probably didn’t notice that I haven’t been around too much lately. I have been struggling with cognitive problems due to a medication I was taking. It finally got to a point where I couldn’t write a cohesive sentence, forgot how to type and my brain couldn’t seem to grasp that words need spaces between them. I almost didn’t enter this piece, but I am feeling a lot better since being taken off the medication and making more sense. Rereading your concrit I have to agree with you.

      I am glad that you do like my story though. Thanks again for your help!

      Like

  2. Carrie says:

    Interesting scene. Clearly Sarah can time travel. If she’s in another period, would she transform into a child? I guess I need to read your previous sections.

    My only real issue is the similarity of Sarah and Saree for names. I think this might cause a lot of confusion for the reader so perhaps change one name to something distinct? Unless there is a very good reason for the similarity.

    Like

    • Tessa says:

      Thank you for stopping by and for your comments. You would need to read the other sections. The children are triplets hence the similar names. And I still am not sure where I am going here yet.

      Like

  3. cait says:

    A very intriguing piece. I like the whole “going back in time” effect happening. Sounds like an exciting story. 🙂

    stopping by from the link up

    Like

  4. jannatwrites says:

    The father sounds like bad news. I hope they can travel forward to a time after he is dead 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s